Wow, its been a really long time since I last blogged here. Its been a whole summer. I am now over twice as far in my treatment than when I last blogged. My side effects remain pretty minimal comparatively. I am "the healthiest looking cancer patient" most of my friends have ever seen. I haven't lost any additional weight that I didn't quickly regain. My current weight hovers around 154-156 pounds. Not the best, but not bad for a woman who is 5'7" tall. I still see my reiki guy/counselor every other week, though during the summer I did have to spread those out some due to finances. I see my chiropractor at least every other week. My lower back and right shoulder and hip could tolerate no less than that. I visit my acupuncturist about every 3 weeks now. I wish I could go more often, but I can't afford it. I get chemo and labs every 3 weeks. Sometimes I have to have my blood drawn more often to check certain levels. I've been on antibiotics more than a few times since I started chemo. Overall, my diet isn't as great as it should be, nor is it as bad as the average american's. I drink plenty of water. I take probiotics and turmeric daily. Unfortunately, I also usually take prescription pain medicine daily. I use anti-nausea meds only when teas, ginger and homeopathics don't help.
Tomorrow, I am finally going to see a wound care specialist to address the lack of healing on the wound covering most of my left chest. This is the wound which developed, on its own, a couple of months before I began chemotherapy. I have treated it previously with raw honey dressings, coconut oil with herbs infused into it and coconut oil with essetial oils. I have tried a couple of conventional methods suggested by the surgeon I saw for a consult including silvadene cream and antibiotic ointment. Both of which made my wound either stick to the dressing terribly or made it worse. Eventually the honey began to cause too much pain during the healing, so I have stuck with my coconut oil regimen since a couple of months ago. I find the coconut oil with essential oils yields the best results, Other than when my white blood cell counts dropped drastically after my chemo treatment 3 weeks ago, I have kept skin infections at bay so far.
My emotional healing is probably the biggest and most effective part of what has occurred. I still have a long way to go. I don't even think the Dalai Lama feels like he'll ever be finished growing emotionally and spiritually until he dies, and I certainly don't claim to be even half as enlightened as he is. Also, there is still anger and bitterness I am struggling to release, expectations of myself and others that I need to let go of and much I have yet to learn and/or completely embrace. Despite the distance I still need to go, I have come so far already and am a much different person in most aspects of my life and most relationships than I was over 3 years ago when I unconsciously allowed myself to have cancer in order to start on the path I am on now.
There are a few things that I really have found very difficult to make habit and those are meditation, including daily centering of myself and connecting with guides and angels, putting myself first and setting limits on others' expectations of me. These need to become an ingrained and natural part of my life, yet they have not. One day, I am confident they will be, but I believe it may be a little ways off. It is so far away from my nature to do these things and, especially being the mother of several small children still, its a hard thing to do, while still seeing yourself as an adequate and involved parent. My children will not always be small, so this is the reason I know that one dy I will achieve these goals.
While I do not profess to be some shining example of how everyone should be, especially since everyone has their own path and things they should be learning and experiencing in this lifetime, I do hope to one day be an example to others around me of how to conquer fears and overcome obstacles in one's life. Recently, I heard a saying, on a home improvement show, of all places, and I shared it with some friends who found it inspiring as well. The saying is "Today is a good day for a good day". It simply means that your attitude sets the tone and you can decide that any day, no matter how badly things might be going on that day, can be a good day. I hope you all have a good day because today really is a good day for a good day.
