After 2 1/2 years of using natural methods to control my cancer and rid my body of the unnatural cells growing within me, something changed. My tumor was smaller, but the skin on my chest began to break down and open up. I was no longer as steadfast in my herbal medicine taking as I once has been. My regimen often took a backseat to stress and bad eating habits and I was once again putting other people's needs before my own.
As a result, my body changed, and not for the better. Seeing this, I decided to visit an oncologist, just to get more information and an idea of what they would recommend. I needed more information so I could make an informed decision about whether or not to try any conventional therapies.
The first oncologist I saw was recommended to me by a couple of people I knew through various channels. They were acquaintances, not friends, but they knew what my situation had been the previous couple of years and they knew of my decisions not to do conventional cancer treatments before this time. My first visit with him was pretty good, He was kind and encouraging. He wasn't pushy. He wanted to do some tests. I agreed to some of them, but not to others and so at the second visit with him, he was not as pleasant. He seemed angry that I wanted information and that I would not be pushed into making a decision quickly simply because he wanted me to do it.
I wanted to know about surgery as an option and he, hesitantly, referred me to a surgeon for a consult. I decided I did not trust what information he had passed on to this surgeon about me (such as me being an obstinate patient or something) so I visited my naturopathic physician again and spoke with her about surgery. She referred me to a doctor that was not completly on board with all I had done, but she was non-judgmental about it. She ran some tests that showed that surgery was not an option. She referred me to a different oncologist.
After meeting with this oncologist and also another natural doctor who had numerous non-chemotherapy methods of cancer treatment as well as one low dose chemo method, I wrestled with the decision over staying with natural methods or going partially or completely conventional. Finally, after much thought and making the decision some what (sadly) for financial reasons, I chose to go with conventional chemotherapy and targeted therapies, supporting that with continued visits to my reiki practitioner and counselor, my acupuncturist and my chiropractor. I also stayed on some herbal and vitamin therapies which were not contraindicated nor would add to the negative effects of the medicines (like blood thining).
I have now had 2 chemo infusions and will go for my third next week. I lost most of my hair very early on and am embracing the bald look (because you can't steal my pretty). I have suffered a few infections and have been on antibiotics most of the time since I started the therapy. My white blood cell counts do not bounce back well. I have pain associated with the cancer and occasional mild nausea. I have lost 10 pounds so far and have kept that off. Everything tastes funny and I usually don't have much of an appetite (who wants to eat when everything tastes like metal anyway?). Other than that (and all of that is pretty mild compared to what many people go through), I have been doing pretty well. I still take my kids to school nearly every day and pick them up from school. I am at the dance studio most of the week and manage to stay on top of everything with the competitive dance group. I look forward to starting costume making again for the ballet company for Nutcracker later this year. I made costumes for my oldest daughter's dance piece for the 8 girls in it without any help from anyone. I drive myself to most of my appointments, even when my husband stays home to watch the 2 youngest kids. I look forward to having a moment to breath during the summer.
I am still fundraising to try and manage the costs of the medications and treatments so that we don't go bankrupt before reaching our out of pocket maximum with our insurance. I look forward to a future without cancer cells in my body and without chemotherapy drugs flowing through my veins. I yearn for a day when my chest port will no longer be needed and can be removed. I still think I'm going to live to be 103. Jiminy Cricket couldn't have been wrong. Positivity says so. Love and light to you all.
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