I found a lump

It was an ordinary day. In other words, I was overtired, stressed and it was early evening before I was able to take a shower. The school year was coming to a close and dance recital was coming up. We hadn't had a single weekend without at least one kid involved in a dance event ore a school event.

I suck at taking care of myself. This is something everyone close to me knows about me and its something I freely admit, though you wouldn't have found me doing anything about it in the past. That was all about to change. I hadn't done a self breast exam, officially, in probably over a year and half (or prior to my most recent pregnancy) and I don't believe in yearly well woman checks. I figure every 2 years is enough for me. At this point, with still being a breastfeeding mom, I handled my boobs often enough throughout the day that I didn't feel the need to stop and perform an actual breast exam. Silly me. 

As I stepped into the shower, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I try not to do this since, like many women my age, who've bore children, I don't like my body and I could stand to lose about 40 pounds. However, this time, as I stopped to actually stare at myself, I cringed, not because of my low self image, but because of what I noticed for the first time. Along the left side of my left breast, I noticed a dimpling. I felt the area and noticed a lump. Despite being a nurse, I called my husband in for a second opinion of what I was feeling. He agreed that the dimpling I saw was not positional (it didn't disappear completely no matter how I moved) and that I was definitely feeling something underneath. 

I knew immediately it was cancer. This was not random paranoia, it was a gut feeling. My gut feelings, though I don't stop to try and listen to them near enough, are rarely wrong. Not to mention that, like most health professionals, sometimes I know too much to remain calm. My husband, Shane, and I spoke about how I would make an appointment to check it out. 

I called within a couple of days (did I mention I suck at taking care of myself?) and scheduled an appointment at the Planned Parenthood of North Texas clinic near me. I knew I could get a well woman exam there, including the breast exam and that since we have no insurance, they could help me refer me to a doctor for testing, if that needed to happen, who would probably be low cost. I had to put the appointment off for a couple of weeks due to our car needing some repairs and some of the kids having some school events for which I needed to be present.