Wednesday, June 27th, Shane and I got up, showered, got dressed, all that jazz, and headed to the facility where I would receive my tests. I sat in yet another office for about 45 minutes, during which I nursed my littlest one and chatted with my husband. I was glad for the company and the distraction from what would become one of the worst days in my life.
Eventually I was escorted to the back, my husband and youngest son left out in the waiting room. I changed my top into one of those lovely open front half gowns and waited for the tech to radiograph my left breast. She led me into the dark and gloomy xray room and proceeded to take 2 types of images of my left breast. The entire time I prayed for my cells to be protected from the harmful radiation and that it would only cause damage to the tumor, if anything.
The tech then attempted to xray my right breast. The breast where there was no palpable tumor. The breast that was not even mentioned when I had spoken to the doctor about what tests he had scheduled for me at the radiologist's office-"Mammogram and sonogram of the left breast". The breast that I did not want exposed to radiation, since it has been shown to be a possible cause of cancer-the thing I am trying to avoid having. The tech informed me that I "have to have the right one done". She, apparently, did not know who she was dealing with. Note to medical staff...NEVER tell a patient, especially a distraught one, that they have to do anything. It just makes you look like an unconcerned douchebag.
I continued to refuse the right breast mammogram, explaining my reasons and even stated that I wouldn't have had my left breast irradiated if I had known that it was "all or nothing". The tech, after rolling her eyes at me, and sounding quite obviously irritated, told me to wait in the dressing room while she spoke with the office manager.
A few minutes later a blonde, middle aged nurse came into the room and informed me that it was in my best interest to have both breasts xrayed and that the doctors had both agreed that this was what I would have. She also mistakenly told me that the amount of radiation in an xray was "not harmful"(her words). "Scientists agree that there is no safe dose of radiation. Cellular DNA in the breast is more easily damaged by very small doses of radiation than thyroid tissue or bone marrow; in fact, breast cells are second only to fetal tissues in sensitivity to radiation. And the younger the breast cells, the more easily their DNA is damaged by radiation. As an added risk, one percent of American women carry a hard-to-detect oncogene which is triggered by radiation; a single mammogram increases their risk of breast cancer by a factor of 4-6 times."(http://www.susunweed.com/herbal_ezine/July07/anti-cancer.htm)
I informed her, through my now frustrated tears, that I would not agree to the right breast xray and that I didn't even truly feel I needed either breast xrayed since I understood that sonogram was the most effective means to detecting tumors in a lactating breast. I also told her that if this office did not want to continue with the exam without doing the right breast mammogram that I was quite sure I could find a place that would. She asked me to wait while she went to speak with the doctor. As she left, she handed me a box of tissue. At least, unlike the tech, she was not rude. So I waited.
Next came in the radiologist who was a female physician, and explained her position on it. I told her that I did not intend on treating this, if it is cancer, the "conventional" way with chemo and surgery and radiation. I said that since I would be treating is holistically, through various methods, I only needed to know if that was actually what is in my body, not how many places it existed inside of me. She said that she was concerned for me and thought I needed the other xray, but that she also saw that I didn't need any more stress and agreed to continue with no mammogram on the right plus a sonogram and a needle biopsy if necessary. I agreed to that and we proceeded without further incident.
After the mammogram and sonogram were completed, my husband was brought from the waiting room with my littlest one so he could not only be in on the doctor's findings thus far, but also so that I could nurse him if needed.
The radiologist came in and let us know that it looked like cancer. She said there was a tiny remote possibility that it was a severe mastitis (I think she said this only to make me feel better-which it didn't) and that I should have the needle biopsy to have it confirmed. Although I am normally anti-invasive tests and anti-treatment when its not holistic (except in some emergencies), I agreed to this simply because I knew that with seven children, a husband and parents who were worried about me, I had to be 100% sure. Not many people would trust my gut feeling and the doctor's near certainty. I was only going to allow the doctor to biopsy one area since I felt it didn't matter what type of cancer the other small lumps in my breast were or if there was also cancer in the two suspicious lymph nodes in my left armpit. I didn't want this invasive test to be any more invasive to my already taxed immune system that it was going to be.
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