I went to my appointment at Planned Parenthood, knowing they would not be able to do anything for me other than send me somewhere else. That might sound strange-like wasted time and money for a wife and mother of 7, or pointless, but I knew they could help me figure out where to go to get the additional testing I knew I would need to verify that my body was allowing the growth of something dangerous and foreign within its walls. Security had been breached and I needed to verify the identity of my enemy in order to snuff it out.
I saw a lovely nurse practitioner who performed the exam and agreed that I had a suspicious lump. She thought it might just be fibrocystic changes since I'd had that when I was just 19 (had a tumor removed then as well-luckily that time benign). I just knew she was wrong, but didn't bother to tell her that. Anyway, she did want me to have it checked further since I am 39, after all and nearing the "cancer age". She didn't say that, of course, it just seems like its the truth-"Oh you're 'almost 40', so your risk is low, but becoming more present" and that kind of thing. She wrote a referral and the front office staff gave me a list of doctors who would offer one kind of discount or another for their services in return for me being a cash paying patient.
I took the list home and noticed that there was one that stood out. A doctor at a nearby hospital-meaning all test could be done right in or near his office-was the one I chose. I had to wait to make an appointment because like a lot of people in this country without insurance, illness doesn't always strike on payday.
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